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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.