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Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Seriously, dude...Is there a name for what`s wrong with you?
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.