Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
So many people are making history right now. but me, I`m deleting history from my browser.
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.
So today my gym was crowded...at least I think it was a gym...Do gyms usually have drive thrus?