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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
I`m going to go take a hot shower, it`s like a normal shower but with me in it
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
Never laugh at your wife`s choices. You are one of them :)
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.