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I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?