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Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.