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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
No one appreciates the special genius of your conversation like the dog does
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.