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What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.