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I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!