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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they`re and their. From now on I`m going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.