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It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
Although the voices aren`t real, they have some pretty good ideas.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!