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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.