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It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
I still sing my ABC’s to see which letter comes first.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.