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I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.
All milk is breast milk.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
Coffee`s a great way to fool yourself into believing you`re going to have a productive day.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science