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Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.