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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
When a cashier asks if you have a loyalty card just sigh and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.