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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
lol I rotfl
I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need "lives" as if I didn`t already know that.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.