Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
I`ve got good news and bad news. The good news is this status is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
I don`t know why I think I could survive the Zombie Apocalypse, I cant even handle the puff of air at the eye doctor.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.