Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
If Iām not eating Iām most likely not happy.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
It`s awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.