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Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
Life is never more confusing than when three people get together to order one pizza.
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
Global warming is now thought to be a leading cause of documentaries.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.