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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
Of course morning sex is better. You haven`t spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.