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I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That`s yours now."
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
Gun Control: Use both hands
The problem with diets is pizza.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.