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Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
A man is as faithful as his options
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
At least a stalker is there for you.