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My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you’d like to put in on Monday.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-