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My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
Sometimes at the gym I`ll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I`ll get my shorts on.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it`s Santa Claus!" so I don`t have to get up.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?