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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
If today drags anymore, it`s going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on