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I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
I believe in love at first episode.
My therapist says I should quit talking to myself.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can`t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.