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"You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
The snooze button, because there’s nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.