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common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait