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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!