Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you`re hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?