Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.