Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straightβ¦a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair outβ¦and still be afraid of a spider?
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%β¦unless youβre donating bloodβ¦
I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
I wouldnβt say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Iβll let you know.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.