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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
A wise man, will often say nothing
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll