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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
"No! Don`t leave me! I need you! Nooooo!" I say as my laptop cords slowly slides off my bed onto the floor.
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.