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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
This status has been censored by Facebook
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.