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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a f*cking b!tch all the time.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
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If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.