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Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive.
Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
My ex was in a swimming competition with 19 other women today. They were doing the breaststroke. Unfortunately, she came in last place. She didn`t know she could have used her arms!
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.