Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."