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Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
it`s friday o clock
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
Next time you`re in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.