Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
I don`t get personal trainers. I`ve never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
I was born at a very early age.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
Cop: Sir what is in the bottle next to you? Man: It`s water *hands the cop the bottle* Cop: Sir, this is wine. Man: Jesus did it again!