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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
Iām the kind of guy who dreams about naps while Iām asleep.
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
Chaos, panic, & disorder ā my work here is done.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
Word to the wise - make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an a$$hole.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.