Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.