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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
2 words, 1 finger.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
I thought 70 was the new 50, but the cop still gave me a ticket.
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
Today`s subliminal thought is: …