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Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"