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Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.