Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
I hate when I’m about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.