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Does the Food Network deliver?
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap 8 people at once.
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.