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A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!