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Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
If you think your girlfriend has a great sense if humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes.
Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.