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"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."