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You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up