Daily Silly Status

Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.

It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever

the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents

I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."

I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.

I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus

Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|

I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.

Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.

I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back

You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro

All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.

If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.

There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?