Daily Silly Status

Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.

Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy

I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.

For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.

Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.

Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.

People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.

Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.

Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.

Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?

Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.

The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.