Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
My weekends are basically just spent splitting a bloomin` onion with my bros at Outback Steakhouse while trying to figure out why girls don`t like us.
It takes balls to be a man.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
I met a lady named Polly once. She didn`t care for crackers, nor my sense of humor.
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.