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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
Soup of the day: Beer
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.