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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
I put the hot in psychotic.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.