Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you don’t like talking to other people.