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I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
I wonder if birds look at planes and think "man, I`ve really got to hit the gym"
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.