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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
Everything I know about women, I learned from the Wizard of Oz. For example: If a woman sees a pair of shoes she wants, she`ll drop a house on the bitch to get them.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.